Posted On Dec 04, 2022

What I have learnt since these times is as tough as they were, and they were tough. I made them formidable in my head. It’s always good to have one eye on what might happen. And if you find that your “What might happen” does come to an end up being the card you are dealt, then make the most out of the worst-case scenario, learn from it and grow mentally and emotionally from it. The more pain it causes naturally might force you to think negatively and only see the worst and then generate that behaviour to follow from you to be equally as harmful. 

I know I was for sure. I was angry, and I wanted people to see the unjust way I was being treated and victimised by the system. Common sense would tell you that is the wrong way to behave. But so many of us behave this way because of the emotive topic of conversation. Suppose you are negotiating who is buying the coffee. In that case, that is one thing you want your mind to lose too. Still, negotiations regarding Money and children are two of the most passionate topics of conversation anyone can talk about. Tell someone you are not paying them, and they were expecting to be paid. That will cause an emotional response if that person relies on that money, the same principle we know too well regarding children.

 I remember getting scraps of contact after having no contact due to the ex just stopping contact because she wanted to and with no safeguarding concerns. I almost created safeguard concerns by being angry. Not just at The Ex but also at work people, with people in the street, people who were supposed to be my friends. A blind man would have sensed the anger in me. That almost cost me the little contact I had at one stage. Then, of course, I would blame the system or the situation. But, when I'm in reality, the system is the system. My one case would not change the system, and no amount of protesting and pedantic behaviour displayed by me is or expressed by me was going to change.